


Lies in Truth

by 87sighs



Category: The L Word: Generation Q (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22966498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/87sighs/pseuds/87sighs
Summary: Gigi knows on some elemental level exactly how this will go.Filling in the blank from 1x07 "Lose it All" to 1x08 "Lapse in Judgment"
Relationships: Natalie "Nat" Bailey/Gigi Ghorbani/Alice Pieszecki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Lies in Truth

Gigi holds open the SUV door for Nat to get in. There’s a blankness, an unsettling kind of quiet in the wake of Alice’s overdramatic storm-out. Nat buckles her seatbelt only after Gigi has climbed into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine. Gigi glances at her, checks the rearview mirror and both her blind spots before pulling out of the parking spot. 

Nat simply stares out of the window-at the restaurant as they pass, traffic as it swallows them-but really, at the events of the last few days. Gigi is sure of this. 

She offers her hand across the console, breaks the regrettable silence. 

“It’ll be okay.” Gigi eases her foot off the gas pedal. She wills herself to be patient, flashes a tiny smile toward Nat that goes unnoticed. “She’ll come around.” 

Nat doesn’t challenge her on any of it, not her only-ten-above-the-limit speed, not the temperature of the air conditioner, nor even this show of optimism. 

Instead she places her hand atop Gigi’s, very little conviction when she says, “I hope you’re right.” 

{}{}{}

“Nat”-she reaches to still the other woman’s hand just as Nat realizes her mistake, eyes going wide- “that’s salt, love.” 

She curses under her breath then dumps the ruined mug of coffee in the sink. 

It’s a familiar sight now, the brief almost-angry movements as she refills the cup. Distracted in nearly everything she does, except dealing with the kids. Baths and bedtime stories, fine.  _ How was school today?  _ and the conversations that follow too. They have that in common, she and Nat, that protectiveness. 

It’s Gigi bearing the brunt of her sadness and pain. It’s in the reluctance of her kiss as they part each morning, the hint of accusation in her eyes when she’s ready for bed and Gigi is there. Just Gigi. 

“I think the kids should stay home with you tonight,” Nat tells her just as Olive and Eli come bounding in to grab their backpacks and put on shoes. 

Intentional or not, the timing halts her automatic reply that  _ this is _ their home, that-God she has no right to think this after she messed everything up-but it still feels like  _ her  _ home too. 

And that’s what Nat really means. Gigi isn’t welcome tonight. 

Gigi nods, grabs her keys and waits while the children hug Nat. They haven’t gone strictly by the custody schedule in weeks. Not since Alice called her a dick and gleefully waved that family drawing in her face. Since the five of them crammed into bed and Gigi felt renewed.

The kids go outside like they’re told. There hasn’t been enough time for Gigi to figure out how to approach this, how to fix it. 

“I think I just need a night to--a night for myself.” 

Despite the hurt and unease, Gigi can only answer, “Okay.” She slides her hand around Nat’s waist in what she hopes is a comforting way, tips up onto her toes for a hesitant kiss against still lips. “Whatever you need.” 

  
  


She considers calling or texting Alice more than once at work that day to tell her to get her head out of her ass! To ask her to give them another chance. Something. Anything. She talks herself out of it every time. Hell, she’d drive to her studio if she truly thought that would end in anything other than a fight. 

They’re all hurt right now, all three of them, and hers begins to solidify into anger, weak but righteous. She and Nat made a mistake, yes. They should have been more clear on boundaries, and she let her desires get the better of her. Again. Gigi can admit that and own it. She always owns her mistakes, eventually, then learns from them. 

If Alice cuts them off so easily then she never really wanted this family anyway and her children are better off. They all are. 

{}{}{}

She’s never been one for self-sacrifice. It’s just not in her DNA. You don’t fight to be seen, to be heard in this world of white noise only to give that space up when it’s convenient for someone else. 

But Olive looks at her with an expression so soft and reminiscent of Nat that Gigi knows on some elemental level exactly how this will go. 

Her daughter looks down at her homework filled with fractions then back at Gigi, asks “Is Mom okay?” 

Gigi swallows with difficulty, tries to edit the truth. 

“She will be, joon.” 

“She just doesn’t want Mom Alice to work so much?” 

Nat has her way of shielding them and Gigi can’t find it in her now to be mad about it, even if she doesn’t agree. 

“Yeah.” She stands from the kitchen table, leans down to place a kiss on Olive’s head. “But we don’t want you to worry about it, okay? Finish your homework while I check on your brother.” 

{}{}{}

Alice hasn’t responded to Nat, hasn’t reached out herself either. 

“I didn’t expect her to react this badly,” Gigi sighs, turning toward Nat on the sofa. “But I’ve been thinking and we--”

“Because you don't know her, not the way I do.” 

“I’d like to. I still think--” 

“I should’ve seen this coming.” She says it quietly, drawn in on herself. Like Gigi isn’t even there. 

She touches Nat’s knee. 

“It’s not your fault. Alice is an adult. If she doesn’t want to be a part of this then that’s her choice.” 

Nat pins her with watery eyes and  _ there  _ it is. There’s the challenge that was dormant days ago. It’s fully bloomed now. Gigi might not know Alice so well but she understands Nat intimately. 

“Choice.” She repeats that word, doesn’t say anything else for a long moment. They’re having a conversation and yet not at all. “You’ve been way too calm about all of this and I get it now. This is  _ your  _ choice.  _ You  _ are getting exactly what you want,” she scoffs.

“Nat--”

“Don’t, Gigi.” 

“Just listen, please,” she asks gently, squeezes Nat’s leg. Nat stares back at her, thankfully silent if not especially receptive. “I don’t want anyone to be hurt, Nat. Not Alice and definitely not you. But you and the kids--we’ll always be family and I won’t apologize for wanting that.” It’s probably not the best thing to say right now but it’s the only thing she can do. The only truth that can fit in this moment. “We needed this time together.” 

Maybe it’s a sign that they really have grown, the fact that Nat doesn’t blow up at her They’re not all the way back at square one and that’s something worth keeping. 

Nat finally says, “I couldn’t ask for a better parent for our kids and they will always tie us together, you’re right.” Nat shifts on the cushion, ready to walk away, and Gig’s hand falls. “But aside from that, there is no  _ us  _ anymore. We had our chance, and now I have to fix my relationship with Alice.” 

Nat leaves her there. For now. Forever. Honestly it doesn’t matter which at this moment. Gigi knew what part she’d play. 

She turns off the lights, quietly locks up the house. Alone, she erupts. She slams the car door, aims a useless punch at the steering wheel. Gigi backs out to the curb then stalls, only driving away once the outside lights go dark.

{}{}{}

Gigi’s at the sink when the kids giggle and squeal from the living room, still so much energy at the end of the day. 

“Mama! Mom’s on TV, come look’--”

“--Mama, hurry, it’s Mom.” 

She follows their calls, clueless.

No less than a dozen thoughts race through her mind seeing the camera of The Alice Show zoom in on Nat, looking scared and hopeful as she comes out of the audience.  Sound goes out first then Gigi’s eyes lose focus. It’s disorienting until she realizes Eli hit the rewind button. 

One instinct tells her she needs to recheck the parental controls on the TV, make sure the kids haven’t snuck access to things they shouldn’t. 

The other has her reaching out to her son blindly, her vision still locked on the show. 

“Eli, give mama the remote.” 

The scene restarts. Alice welcomes Roxane Gay to the stage, and any other time Gigi would congratulate her for bringing on a guest worth listening to. As it is tonight, she lowers the volume with dread expanding rapidly in her chest. 

Alice is talking about family and kids, wanting tradition.  _ Alice _ . The woman who gave a sick child a crock pot to throw up in. Who talks at full volume at noon or midnight and tells risque stories just the same, as if the kids don’t have ears or Alexa.  _ That  _ woman wants full-time kids and  _ couple _ dom.

Those are some of Alice’s least competent moments, ungraciously filtered out from her best, Gigi knows, but still true. This whole setup has to be the most absurd bit she’s ever done. 

The kids are the only ones smiling as their mother takes her place beneath the lights, next to Alice wearing that same timid hope. 

Fuck.

She doesn’t have to hear it all to know. She understood days ago, but this is a humiliation fitting for Hollywood. 

Eli jumps on the couch until Gigi belatedly tells him to stop. He doesn’t get down though. Instead he pushes the boundaries of her distraction by walking across the furniture until his big brown eyes are even with her own. 

Olive looks away from the performance on the screen, her happiness suddenly more cautious. She’s taking her cues from Gigi and that’s enough to ground her at this moment. She hates that this will upset their world yet again, but tonight is not that time.

“Are you happy, Mama?” Olive asks looking up at her with all the love and trust in the world. 

Gigi takes deep breaths. The two greatest joys of her life are here beside her. That’s what she needs most. 

A reluctant, struggling part of her suggests maybe this is what Nat and Alice need too. 

She ruffles Eli’s hair, presses a kiss to his forehead. She tucks Olive into a hug, smiling back at her. 

“Yeah, joon, I have you two. Mama’s happy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
